It’s been both a long and short month this month, and I’ve been a bit spotty in some areas (cough, cough–sorry) because I just have had a lot going on, of course. However, it’s a new month, and a new season is starting…time for new beginnings! A Summer of Change, if you will. Change can be terrifying, but it can also be AMAZING.
I think these seasons happen for everyone periodically, a time where it just seems like everything is changing all at once…excitement and fear and anxiety all circling the drain of your mind. I have a tendency to wander back and forth without a real plan to dictate my actions; with so many things to do, sometimes my mind can decide WHAT to actually
do at the moment. Which, of course, means that nothing gets done. But, I’ve made a plan, and I’m sticking to it–for the summer of change (2017), yoooOoo~
The last Summer of Change I had was 3 years ago–almost exactly, actually. I was separating from a long-term relationship, reorganizing my life, and getting back into hobbies and professions that I had long let go (that old relationship buddy didn’t like them, lol). I went to New York on my first solo travel trip, for an audition, and also because I had been told over and over again that I’d hate it–an act of defiance, ha. Turned out: I LOVED the city. I had a great time, a great audition, and I’d go back in a minute. I felt new and clean and EXCITED, and I feel much the same way now, and the nice thing about it is that in that 3-year span, I was able to hold onto that feeling for the most part. Trying new things, going to things I might have sat out previously, meeting new people. I got back into singing, back into acting, started to learn a new language (in a new way, even).
Then vs. Now
I really feel like I’ve grown in the past 3 years. Time was needed for sure and I took it. I want to make sure to continue to take that time when needed, even though this summer will be different. I want to make sure that I can be who I need to be to support people in my life. It’s actually much simpler than I ever really thought before, and I feel kind of stupid for not realizing it before. Even if I have to check into it in my mind periodically, I want to make sure that I keep a hold of it.
With a new relationship, I think that can be hard. I definitely need to pay some special attention to it. I’ve gotten really lucky though in that the bf is so supportive of everything I want to do, and he has a lot of his own goals, too. It’s really nice to be meeting in the middle, and it just makes things more exciting, I really feel like big things are on the horizon; for me, for him, and for us together. Who knows?
What I do know: I’m going into this summer calm and thankful. Sure there are some things that bother me, and some things that I’m worried about or nervous about. I’m still looking for a day job, for example–bummer, lol–but! I firmly believe you choose positivity in life, so I’m choosing not to think about those things too much, other than what I can do to change them. Sometimes it’s nothing. Sometimes it’s everything. I love this feeling, though. I live for summers of change. <3
What kind of changes do you have coming??