Holy crap. It’s Thursday. Take a seat and enjoy yourself. I can’t handle how fast time is passing, but what can you do? I’ve been back at work this week, with a class winding down, and the still pretty new roommate and the time for working out is ever so fleeting…but! I think I’m at my best when I’m busy.
It’s tough to establish the plans I need to keep on track, but once things are settled, I think it’ll be smooth sailing. …slightly less choppy sailing. Ha. I’ve found that being busy is a blessing and a curse in my life; I’m both overwhelmed and over productive when I’m very busy. At the same time, though, I feel so accomplished! For that reason, I think it’s more than worth it for a time. Prioritizing can be hard, and managing your time can be hard, but more than that, it’s the feeling that tends to push me over the edge.
I feel like lately, I’ve essentially been writing about the same thing over and over again, but that’s just what my life is these days, unfortunately (fortunately?). I’m just busy. Time, and priorities, and goals, and so on are just at the forefront of my mind. For sure, to be real, I’ve been asked about it quite often, as well. “How do you do so much?” or “I’d feel awful if I were busy like you all the time.” And honestly? Some of the time I do feel awful. Sometimes, I got stuff done but had no time for sleep. Sometimes, I worried about whether any of the most important things would get done. And sometimes, I’d let the unimportant (for now) things slide, and feel like a failure.
But it’s exhilarating–this mix of stress and fear and pride and accomplishment.
More than worth the time that I spend more towards the ‘stressed out’ side of the scale. I’ve found myself less terrified of the feeling of failure, overloaded like some sort of phobia training. The feeling of moving towards your goals…it’s more intoxicating than anything else I’ve ever dealt with. So, I’m back and work and trying to not let all the other stuff I’ve been working on slack too much. Not an easy feat, but doable, with my many (many) calendars. And a phone/laptop combination. Ha!
Slowly this week, things are falling into place, with a writing schedule, and a food/workout schedule. I’ve even been sleeping! (OMG) There’s always something that comes up when you’re busy, so it’s been a work in progress, but the bf is helping as much as he can, and I’m feeling good. Since we’re starting to fall into a routine, we are both getting more of the things on our to-do lists done. Turns out he kind of likes being busy a little bit too. (Of course, he also watches a lot of Netflix. Priorities.)
As much as I love it, I’m trying to stay focused and not get overwhelmed, so I am dropping things that aren’t top priority for now. So, relationship, work, relationship, cats… (yes, I know relationship is in there twice :P) It took me two weeks to hit the grocery store, and more than that to put away my laundry, but you know, busy is as busy does. (That means nothing, lol, I’m sorry.)
In any case, thanks for sticking around while I try to settle into a groove. I love my new job, and I’m still looking for another one, so the ‘busy’ probably isn’t going away.
It’s okay. Busy bees make lots of honey, and our future is looking sweet, I think.