Summer of Change 6/1/17 – Travel by Driving: Keeping Your Drive Tolerable 6/2/17 – Friendship: Responsibility for your Relationships 6/9/17 – Routine is What you Make it (Usually) 6/16/17 – Busy Bees Make More Honey, Brotha 6/22/17 – A Cat is a Great Judge of Character 6/28/17
SUMMER OF CHANGE
June 1, 2017
It’s been both a long and short month this month, and I’ve been a bit spotty in some areas (cough, cough–sorry) because I just have had a lot going on, of course. However, it’s a new month, and a new season is starting…time for new beginnings! A Summer of Change, if you will. Change can be terrifying, but it can also be AMAZING.
I think these seasons happen for everyone periodically, a time where it just seems like everything is changing all at once…excitement and fear and anxiety all circling the drain of your mind. I have a tendency to wander back and forth without a real plan to dictate my actions; with so many things to do, sometimes my mind can decide WHAT to actually
From my original summer of change, hah~
do at the moment. Which, of course, means that nothing gets done. But, I’ve made a plan, and I’m sticking to it–for the summer of change (2017), yoooOoo~
The last Summer of Change I had was 3 years ago–almost exactly, actually. I was separating from a long-term relationship, reorganizing my life, and getting back into hobbies and professions that I had long let go (that old relationship buddy didn’t like them, lol). I went to New York on my first solo travel trip, for an audition, and also because I had been told over and over again that I’d hate it–an act of defiance, ha. Turned out: I LOVED the city. I had a great time, a great audition, and I’d go back in a minute. I felt new and clean and EXCITED, and I feel much the same way now, and the nice thing about it is that in that 3-year span, I was able to hold onto that feeling for the most part. Trying new things, going to things I might have sat out previously, meeting new people. I got back into singing, back into acting, started to learn a new language (in a new way, even).
Then vs. Now
I really feel like I’ve grown in the past 3 years. Time was needed for sure and I took it. I want to make sure to continue to take that time when needed, even though this summer will be different. I want to make sure that I can be who I need to be to support people in my life. It’s actually much simpler than I ever really thought before, and I feel kind of stupid for not realizing it before. Even if I have to check into it in my mind periodically, I want to make sure that I keep a hold of it.
With a new relationship, I think that can be hard. I definitely need to pay some special attention to it. I’ve gotten really lucky though in that the bf is so supportive of everything I want to do, and he has a lot of his own goals, too. It’s really nice to be meeting in the middle, and it just makes things more exciting, I really feel like big things are on the horizon; for me, for him, and for us together. Who knows?
What I do know: I’m going into this summer calm and thankful. Sure there are some things that bother me, and some things that I’m worried about or nervous about. I’m still looking for a day job, for example–bummer, lol–but! I firmly believe you choose positivity in life, so I’m choosing not to think about those things too much, other than what I can do to change them. Sometimes it’s nothing. Sometimes it’s everything. I love this feeling, though. I live for summers of change. <3
What kind of changes do you have coming??
TRAVEL BY DRIVING: KEEPING YOUR DRIVE TOLERABLE
June 2, 2017
Lately, I’ve found that I’ve been doing a lot of driving. A LOT a lot. Previously, I didn’t drive more than 9,000 miles a year, but with seeing someone from another state, auditions, and trying to keep up with my writing, the miles have been piling on. I got an oil change back at the beginning of March and was due for another one at the beginning of May! To be fair, we drove my car down to Miami, Florida and back, and I’ve been driving all around the state; back and forth to Cincinnati and Cleveland and back. I love to travel, and lately, a lot of that has been travel by driving. Plus, I’ve basically been spending half of my time in Lousiville, where the boy is, haha.
I like driving, but honestly, I’m not that good at it. The tendency to get lulled into road hypnosis is huge. If I’m even the slightest bit tired, it’s a real struggle. That’s why I’ve preferred flying in the past…but, these days driving is just how it’s been falling! Ah well~ Knowing that I’m not that great of a driver (especially alone) I’ve been trying to come up with things to make the drive a bit easier, safer, and more fun.
Making the Drive Enjoyable
This is important to me! By myself, driving is kind of boring, and since it takes a lot of time, I’d like to have as good a time possible while doing it. How I do that:
Ha! I love snacks when I’m driving, and they do double duty of keeping me awake for the drive. When I’m driving is often the only time that I let myself have a lot of the worst snacks that I love (hello, Doritos…)
- Comfy clothes
Some people have airport outfits (and, don’t worry, I have that, too) but I also have driving outfits! You know, those well-planned, pre-chosen outfits that are JUST the right amount of comfy and cute? No wires, nice and stretchy, the perfect combo of warm and cold for if you want to roll your windows down or use the air. Pick some out! Your cramped lil’ bod will thank you!
OBVIOUSLY. Music is life for me, and some of my best music moments are in my car. I usually know what I’ll be listening to in my car before I pull it up. Sometimes I listen to new albums, sometimes I belt out those really -beltable- songs…Adele, Rihanna, and the like. Big pounding bass thumping my whole car driving down a mostly deserted road makes the whole thing worthwhile.
Much like at home, I feel much better when the car is clean and neat. A couple of times getting in and just looking at the dust on the dashboard the whole drive was more than enough to convince me to clean it up. I feel SO much better now when I get in!
- Take breaks!
I think too many people try to rush a drive when it’s really much more enjoyable when you allow yourself to just relax and take breaks when needed. Get gas, walk around, stretch your legs! Getting there 10 minutes later isn’t so bad.
Further, when you’re driving a lot, you need to pay close attention to the safety issues for your vehicle! Enjoying your drive is important, but staying safe and keeping your car alive is important, too. The most important things that I have found to check are:
Tires are so important to drivability and maintaining traction on wet roads. They’re also one of the easiest things to check! Keep them filled up and happy and it’ll be good for your car.
Little worse than finding yourself in a bad rainstorm and ALSO finding that your wipers are sh*t. Haha! One quick visit to an Advance Auto or related store, and they’ll actually replace them for you if you buy them there!
Beyond that, those little lights on the dash MEAN something. Pay attention, and try to take care of stuff before it becomes a large problem, and it’ll save you money in the long run, and keep your trip safer and sweeter. When you travel a lot by car, it’s more important than ever.
What are your driving tips??
FRIENDSHIP: RESPONSIBILITY FOR YOUR RELATIONSHIPS
June 9, 2017
Relationships are tough. Is it easy for you to make friends? As an adult, I’ve found that it’s pretty tough to make new friends. I’m a friendly person by nature! However, where, as a child, I could just make friends on the daily just by doing my normal activities, as an adult I have to go out specifically with the intention of making new friends more often than not. Further, the friendship that I’ve already established with people becomes harder and harder to maintain as the years go on and people split up and move across the country…or even the world. I’ve been lucky enough to make friends all over, and it’s all well and good to say: “OH, I have friends in Nashville”, or wherever the case may be, but are they really your friends if you have no idea what is going on in their lives…and vice versa?
I’m not sure that you can truly call people friends when you follow that up with “I haven’t talked to them in forever”, so I find it’s important to do my own personal best to make the effort to maintain those relationships over time. It’s hard to think about people you don’t see in your day-to-day life! You get caught up in all the small bits and pieces; work, school, home, and the people you DO see daily filling up those spaces where you don’t always think of the relationships you used to know.
I think we can all agree on how hard relationships are, really. Pretty much any kind of relationship: familial, friendship, partnership…they’re all pretty difficult. Friendship is hard. It’s so tough to keep a friendship over a distance that there is literally a Wikihow article about it. Being a good friend, whatever that may mean for each individual person, isn’t always even agreed upon by both parties.
Ha, now, hear me out. You might say that ‘requirements’ is too harsh, but I think when I explain it’ll make more sense. I think that we can pretty much all agree that communicating–in some way–with your friend regularly is a basic requirement of friendship. How can you possibly be friends if you haven’t communicated in 5 years? Now, I don’t judge! Communication is as communication does, writing, talking, FaceTiming, it all works! That part really depends on the friends. One of my friends, when she moved to Nashville, would send me at least one email a week, detailing what was happening in her life. It worked great for us.
So, really, where people lose out here, I think is that they don’t make that effort. It seems like so little on paper, but when confronted with the day-to-days of life just gets pushed back. When your friends move away or when you move away, you have to make that effort! Call them, or email them, or message them with regularity. Go get some drinks or something when you can. Try to check in with their lives and ask questions. Don’t be an asshole and visit when you can. (LOL) I mean, what are you saying when you don’t do any of these things? That they’re not a priority. Which is fine, but then are they actually your friend? Make the effort, yo.
The Other Side
Further, there’s another side to this coin. Those friendships that you keep making an effort with, over and over, that only call you when they want something, or are a drain on your wellbeing. Those toxic friendships (and/or relationships) that you give to but never get anything from in return. With making that effort to keep a worthwhile friendship, you must also be able to pull back that effort where it is not helping you or the other party. Those people that talk over you at every chance, or have transitioned it so that they have all the friends. The ones who make everything your fault and never take their own responsibility. Those types of friendship take over your life and take focus from what could be really good, strong, loyal friends.
It’s okay to practice self-care here. To take care of yourself, and let others go when they are toxic. Care for yourself. Put in the effort to worthy, beautiful people, and they will put in that effort in return.
Let me know your thoughts!
ROUTINE IS WHAT YOU MAKE IT (USUALLY)
June 16, 2017
Happy Friday, folks! The week’s out and I’m in, doing my thing, as the case may be. My routine is shaky right now, I have a new person at home, exploring the next level of our relationship. I’ve also been sick for the past 2 weeks, so I’ve been resting up, working on schoolwork, writing, and catching up on Supernatural with the fave. My head still feels a bit like it’s underwater, but it’ll do. Especially since I got to spend some time actually underwater in a lovely 88.5-degree pool. Makes it feel a bit more worthwhile, you know? I’m starting to feel a bit better, though, so I’m looking for this week to be more of an upswing. It’s a good thing that I’m pretty ok with organization because I definitely need to keep on track.
Since it’s the summer of change (TM, lol), life is being a little more interesting than usual, right now…
In any case, it’s the second week of June, and I’ve had a new roomie for a little over a week. We’ve got a lot of stuff going on, and a lot of stuff to come, so we’re still trying to settle into a routine. Doing that as a couple is for sure hard in the beginning. In a relationship, we have to think about each other, and sometimes that’s easy to forget. Today we finally woke up and got going before noon, which has been tough with the fave trying to transition from that 3rd shift life.
Routines can be a struggle. They can be hard to stick to, and for someone who likes a bit of variety, they can be daunting on their own. Once I’m into one, it’s usually not so bad, but getting one started? That’s a whole other story. Plus, with the new addition of the roommate (haha), it’s doubly hard. We’re both trying to start new routines, routines that complement each other, hopefully. A routine that accomplishes both of our separate sets of goals, as well as the ones we have conjointly.
Coming together with another person is always hard, I think. Both of us trying to re-do our day-to-day routine doesn’t make it any easier. It’s kind of nice, though! Talking about this and organizing our thoughts together about what we’re trying to do really just makes me feel even closer to someone I already felt closer to than almost anyone else. But it doesn’t mean we don’t but up against each other at times.
I think routines can have a bit of a bad rep. Routine? Ugh, dull. A rut, even. But really, what is a routine except for a set of habits that you perform regularly? As long as we make sure most of those are good habits, I think it’s mostly a good thing. (Note: I have filled this post with cats because I am sick. <3)
For instance; our biggest problem is DEFINITELY our sleep routine. I was only sleeping about 4 hours a night before the bf moved in. He was sleeping on a third shift schedule, and that made coming together VERY difficult. We’d have to try to adjust our schedule together, cutting out naps, getting up early to make sure we’re very tired at night. We’re definitely still struggling a bit, with naps here and there, but things are starting to come together. Thankfully. For the first few days, we were sleeping too late to get anything done, it felt like. Then we had a few days where we were just exhausted. Finally, we’re starting to fall into a little bit of a routine, sleep-wise.
I’m so lucky in that my routine-buddy is of similar mind to me. We both have a lot of goals, and both try to improve ourselves from day-to-day anyway. So, we are both trying to work on our sleep so that we can slide other things into place behind it.
Habit Forming is Hard
Making those habits into the routines we want is really just a time and energy issue. Now that our sleep is starting to fall into place, I’m trying to make sure we stay on track in the other areas we want, too. I make a lot of lists, which thankfully, the bf thinks is cute, since I’ve started making them for him, too. Whomp. He seems to appreciate it, though, and he’s said as much, so my planning personality is okay so far. As we both have tasks we’re working on right now, I want to make sure that we get to dedicate time to both of our things every day…until they become habits. Habits become those routines that we want.
It’s a struggle now, but eventually, it’ll get easier. And we’re both just keeping in mind: we have goals, and we want to get there together, so it’s worth it. <3
What routines do you have, or are you trying to make?
BUSY BEES MAKE MORE HONEY, BROTHA
June 22, 2017
Holy crap. It’s Thursday. Take a seat and enjoy yourself. I can’t handle how fast time is passing, but what can you do? I’ve been back at work this week, with a class winding down, and the still pretty new roommate and the time for working out is ever so fleeting…but! I think I’m at my best when I’m busy.
It’s tough to establish the plans I need to keep on track, but once things are settled, I think it’ll be smooth sailing. …slightly less choppy sailing. Ha. I’ve found that being busy is a blessing and a curse in my life; I’m both overwhelmed and over productive when I’m very busy. At the same time, though, I feel so accomplished! For that reason, I think it’s more than worth it for a time. Prioritizing can be hard, and managing your time can be hard, but more than that, it’s the feeling that tends to push me over the edge.
I feel like lately, I’ve essentially been writing about the same thing over and over again, but that’s just what my life is these days, unfortunately (fortunately?). I’m just busy. Time, and priorities, and goals, and so on are just at the forefront of my mind. For sure, to be real, I’ve been asked about it quite often, as well. “How do you do so much?” or “I’d feel awful if I were busy like you all the time.” And honestly? Some of the time I do feel awful. Sometimes, I got stuff done but had no time for sleep. Sometimes, I worried about whether any of the most important things would get done. And sometimes, I’d let the unimportant (for now) things slide, and feel like a failure.
But it’s exhilarating–this mix of stress and fear and pride and accomplishment.
More than worth the time that I spend more towards the ‘stressed out’ side of the scale. I’ve found myself less terrified of the feeling of failure, overloaded like some sort of phobia training. The feeling of moving towards your goals…it’s more intoxicating than anything else I’ve ever dealt with. So, I’m back and work and trying to not let all the other stuff I’ve been working on slack too much. Not an easy feat, but doable, with my many (many) calendars. And a phone/laptop combination. Ha!
Slowly this week, things are falling into place, with a writing schedule, and a food/workout schedule. I’ve even been sleeping! (OMG) There’s always something that comes up when you’re busy, so it’s been a work in progress, but the bf is helping as much as he can, and I’m feeling good. Since we’re starting to fall into a routine, we are both getting more of the things on our to-do lists done. Turns out he kind of likes being busy a little bit too. (Of course, he also watches a lot of Netflix. Priorities.)
As much as I love it, I’m trying to stay focused and not get overwhelmed, so I am dropping things that aren’t top priority for now. So, relationship, work, relationship, cats… (yes, I know relationship is in there twice :P) It took me two weeks to hit the grocery store, and more than that to put away my laundry, but you know, busy is as busy does. (That means nothing, lol, I’m sorry.)
In any case, thanks for sticking around while I try to settle into a groove. I love my new job, and I’m still looking for another one, so the ‘busy’ probably isn’t going away.
It’s okay. Busy bees make lots of honey, and our future is looking sweet, I think.
A CAT IS A GREAT JUDGE OF CHARACTER
June 28, 2017
I have three cats. I adore them even though they’re KIND of little jerks. Having a cat is an experience at the best of times I think, but I definitely have cats that are their own brand of weird. People have made comments over and over through the years: “Wow, that cat is so well behaved!” or “That cat is mean”, blah blah. Any number of things I suppose. A cat can be polarizing.
Out of the three, they all have their oddball issues, but the biggest jerk is definitely the oldest cat. At 12 years old, he’s an old man, and he’s as grumpy as you might think he is. He doesn’t love other people. He likes quiet. And he’s easily nervous and agitated. People can’t really pet him, and I’d previously tried to introduce another cat to him…which he promptly attacked. Bummer. He does like cuddles though and likes to play! …with people’s he’s comfortable with, only. Not pictured due to lack of cooperation.
The other two are the babies. Brother and sister, brought into my home right after a breakup when I felt I could give them the proper attention and patience. They’re three years old and so different. EDI (stylization as appropriate, ha) is so friendly and curious and sweet. Everyone loves her!Luca, on the other hand, is remarkably and inexplicably skittish. Despite always being in my home and being so ridiculously attached to me, he is the biggest scaredy cat I’ve ever seen in my life! He runs from everything and everyone. Except me. I don’t know why, but I muse to myself often about what I could have done to earn his love.Introducing the babies to my older cat was difficult (and may warrant another post someday), but recently I’ve learned that introducing them to another human may be more interesting.My boyfriend recently moved into my apartment and aside from all the normal cohabitation issues and questions and such, what has been really interesting and fun is watching him interact with my cats.
Cat (ch) me if you can
He doesn’t have much experience with pets in general, let alone a cat. In the beginning, I was a little concerned about it, actually, because no matter how much I like somebody I ain’t giving up my cats for nobody. But! Luckily… he’s kind of obsessed with them. Sometimes he’ll just stand in the middle of the room and look around. I’ll ask: “are you looking for something?” and he’ll respond: “a cat”. Sigh. It’s been really sweet! With some gentle guidance, watching them both get more comfortable with each other has been really nice. I’ve been teaching him how to hold them and how to play with them, and it’s crazy to me how little he seems to know. He’s asked why they lick themselves and why they scratch and why…I would never have imagined people not knowing some of it, which is probably a failing on my part, lol